Pigout Pizza: Pig Farmer Extraordinaire
Is this your favorite candidate? Voting now open here. Share on Facebook to show your support as well!
Mr. Pigout is a local pig farmer. He works hard day and night and feels pork toppings are the best choice for taste buds, fullness, and the economy. He does not have a traditional educational background, only recently earning his degree in Animal Livestock Husbandry online.
Bacon Cheeseburger, a close friend of Pigout and the first to endorse Pigout in the Runoff Election, says that "His blue collar background in no way mean he does not take education seriously. People need to realize his early "rise and shine" farm life did not allow easy access to traditional schooling. His mother home schooled him and he could not attend university until online education became available. When you have a conversation with Pigout, you can clearly see his practical background and wisdom gained through experience and hard work really shines. His use of plain language in conversations allows anyone to easily understand what he is talking about. One will quickly realize he listens intently, and understands everything you are discussing and cares tremendously no matter what your background or perspective. He's truly a pizza of the people!"
Conversely, Veggie Special, a strong advocate for the environment and eating less meat in general, summarily dismissed Pigout as a candidate stating that:
"Pigout cannot be objective when it comes to the environment because livestock and farm equipment emissions actually contribute to pollution. Would he be willing to consider any policies that might increase the costs of farming in order to protect the environment? I don't think so!"
Veggie Special's public statement lead me to the first interview question.
Cheez: You are aware of Ms. Veggie Specials comment about the environment? *Pigout Nods* Can you elaborate on your stance with the environment?
Pigout: "Of course, Ms. Cheez. I understand where Ms. Veggie is coming from, but she also has to understand where we farmers are coming from. This even includes those who farm vegetables, whom Ms. Veggie is supposedly supports. Many farmers have to receive subsidies to turn a profit as is. The public simply cannot afford rising food costs. Leave Agriculture and Livestock alone! Sure the environment is important, but there are other ways to reduce pollution as well. We are not the only culprit. And my retort to Ms. Veggie Special is, how can she judge me for using my tractor when she is driving around in a 2017 Mercedes-Benz getting at most 20 MPG? At least my tractor's are producing food for this Pizzeria! Let's face it, consumers love pork. Let's make it as cost-effective as possible for them to order pork on their pizzas!"
Cheez: Thank you, Mr. Pigout for your views on that issue. Now Can you tell us why your platform seems to resonate so well with the customers? We were surprised to see that you broke through and nearly beat out president I'm Hungry in the early polls. Early analysis did not even consider you a contender.
Pigout: You're welcome Ms. Cheez. That's what's wrong with those early projections. The guy who did it made his best guesses with the information at hand, but this is just something they can't really know without individually asking every customer, and there just wasn't enough time to do that. When it's time to vote, our hard-working customers show up and let their voice be heard as seen in the early polls. I knew I would be a contender just based on how much bacon Peggy's Pizza sells on a regular basis, but I was just as surprised as anyone else at being the main front runner--even if it was only for a week. I can tell you this much, when I'm Hungry first took charge, Bacon was not nearly as popular as it is today. These days, you see bacon being used in all sorts of dishes, Bacon-wrapped donuts, Bacon-wrapped Ribs, all sorts of traditional dishes that never saw the use of bacon even peanut butter ice cream with bacon bits in them. I really feel that is why I'm so popular. Bacon, and as a result pork and other pork toppings such as Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Canadian Bacon, Diced ham, Breakfast Bacon, are all selling at premium prices due to high demand.
Cheez: Thank you Pigout for your thorough response and honest feedback. Sorry to cut this short but we are low on time this week.
Pigout: Oh I understand, I gotta go let the piggies out anyway! Thanks for having me!
Cheez: Your Welcome, Thank you! *Handshake*
Is this your favorite candidate? Voting now open here. Share on Facebook to show your support as well!
about your author
Cheez E. Pizza has been retained by Peggy's Homemade Pizza for her decades-long record of bias-free reporting in the arena of Pizza Politics and straight-forward, "no-frills" style in the dining room and abroad. Her services will be invaluable during such a close campaign.
