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The I'm Hungry and Peggy's Supreme pizzas, both brothers, look eerily similar from a distance. It takes a few seconds of close inspection to tell the difference, but afterwards I'm Hungry's extra toppings stick out as a contrasting feature. The familial similarities also seem to be carry over into pizzeria politics as well considering they both support common topping choices such as Mushrooms, Onions, Bell peppers, Black Olives, Hamburger, Diced ham, and Pepperoni. However, what sticks out upon further inspection is that I'm Hungry also champions some "extreme toppings" such as Green Olives, Italian Sausage, and Jalapenos. Below is our attempt at interviewing the brothers and political rivals at the same time.
"Peggy's Supreme, Why are you opposed to Italian Sausage, Green olives, and even optional jalapenos?"
Thank you for the question Ms. Cheese, This is something my brother and I have fought about since we were first put on Peggy's menu. We have a lot of similarities in that we have many of the same toppings and we both agree with the majority of our customers that Anchovies should not be included on pizza by default! *I'm hungry nods in agreement* A customer should not have to live in fear that a pizzeria will automatically put anchovies on their pizza. Anchovies should be by request only. That is where our similarities end. I feel as though NO extreme toppings should not be on pizza without specific requests from the customer. Period! I agree a policy of optional jalapenos is a novel and inclusive idea, but I think this should be the same in regards to Italian Sausage, Jalapenos, and Green Olives.
While Jalapenos can be a great added flavor, if you get an extremely spicy batch, that will be all you taste on your pizza. Why ruin the flavor of all the other toppings just to include a handful of radical Jalapenos? Olives as a topping can be a polarizing element in trying to decide which pizza to eat. They taste great to those who love them, but it's difficult, if not nearly impossible, for non-olive eaters to stomach. Still, I do believe Olive issues are important, which is why I have always included Black Olives as a staple in my topping repertoire. However, Green Olives are, and have always been, a radical pizza topping which is why you do not see them offered in many pizzerias across the nation. I agree with the assessment Green Olives should be considered a radical element as well and not a part of a pizza combo. This shows that I am far more balanced to meet the tastes of a larger family than I'm Hungry in these regards.
Cheez: I'm Hungry, your thoughts on the matter?
I'm Hungry: The people are smart, they know what they want and I say they can have it! For example, we have customers who even add two elements to the I'm Hungry brand that are important in Pigout and Hawaiian's campaign, that is Breakfast Bacon and Pineapples respectively. We have to be flexible for the people! Although my platform does not specifically mention all toppings, it is implied that I am the pizza "with everything on it," signifying that all flavors can be included on a pizz...
Supreme: NO one is saying the people can't--
I'm Hungry: let me finish!
Supreme: I will, but no one is saying the people can't make up their own minds! In fact, one issue all candidates agree on is that the customer has the right to exclude toppings at any time and even substitute one for the other.
I'm Hungry: It always comes down to Olives and Jalapenos with you, Supreme! I don't see why you can't just leave these two ingredients in peace! *Supreme is visibly getting angry* He forgets the principle this great Pizzeria has always run on, and that is that the "Customer is always right!"
Supreme: Quit trying to spin this and make it out like I am against the founding principles all of a sudden!!
I'm Hungry: Just because Peggy's menu says that the I'm Hungry includes Green Olives and Jalapenos, does not mean the customer MUST have them on the pizza. That's where my brother here shows he cannot think outside of the Pizza Box. Those loyal to the I'm Hungry brand always order me in different ways. That is something that I refuse to back down on! I'm just saying, I feel that including these powerful flavors is important to any customer with refined taste buds.
Cheez: I see soo...
Supreme interjects "MY CUSTOMERS DO HAVE GREAT TASTE BUDS, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WITH YOUR ELITST..."
*I'm Hungry punches Supreme in the face and brotherly rough-housing ensues*
Cheez: Uh...Okay guys, that's a wrap! cut the cameras! The public does not need to s...*static*
Unfortunately, the video did leak before "authorities" could take it down, so we went ahead and reported the attempted interview anyway for transparency.
Is Supreme or I'm Hungry your favorite candidate? Voting now open here. Share on Facebook to show your support as well!
about your author
Cheez E. Pizza has been retained by Peggy's Homemade Pizza for her decades-long record of bias-free reporting in the arena of Pizza Politics and straight-forward, "no-frills" style in the dining room and abroad. Her services will be invaluable during such a close campaign.