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Hawaiian Pizza: "Professional" Vacationer

July 18, 2017

Is this your favorite candidate? Voting now open here.  Share on Facebook to show your support as well! 

 

Hawaiian is a laid back surfer hailing from Hawaii.  He is all about relaxing!  This includes finding (and spending time in) some of the best vacation spots available.  He is a breath of fresh air from your run-of-the-mill pies, and his calm, laid back nature is contagious. As expected, he brings an unusual combination of toppings to the traditional pizza choices.

 

Cheez: I have to ask one of the questions that many customers wonder.  Why do they call you the Hawaiian?  It appears Pineapples originated from Brazil.  Shouldn’t you be the Brazillian?  Also, please elaborate on “Canadian bacon.” Isn’t that really just ham and not bacon? 

 

Hawaiian:  Just ham?  That's just, like, your opinion, man!  Jokes aside, I could rant on and on about this.  But for our sake and the sake of those hangin' ten with us, I'll keep it loose. *both chuckle*

 

So, while Canadian bacon is like technically ham and stuff, the US is the only radical place that calls it "Canadian Bacon..  The name totally pays homage to Canadian curing methods.  See, man, way back in the super old days, our primary source of pork was the U.K., but they experienced a shortage and we started getting imports from Canada.

 

Canadians would cure the back meat in a special brine, called pea meal bacon, because it got rolled around in ground yellow split peas to help keep it all preserved and stuff.  This was totally different from UK’s practice of smoking it instead.  And that's how Canadian bacon was born, bruh!

 

Cheez: Sounds like you're pretty passionate about the Canadian bacon!  Let's switch gears and focus on the pineapple.

 

Hawaiian:  Totally, dude!  I'm proud of all of my toppings--you know, equally.  But yeah, pineapples.  You got it!  Actually, man, James Dole was the most famous pineapple bro, and he moved to Hawaii and started his awesome legacy there.  Since Peggy's folks know what's up, they use Dole pineapples exclusively--you can like, quote me on that, Cheesybabe.

 

Cheez: I'll be sure to do that... Hawaiian... dude.  Thanks for the clarification, I did not know many of those facts.  I feel like we learned quite a bit here!

 

Hawaiian:  No sweat, Cheezlady!  Thanks for letting me yap.  Anytime you need a little something tropical in your life, I'm your guy!  And for all you awesome folks relaxing with us, if you want more info on my awesome toppings, you can totally plug "origin of pineapples" and "origin of Canadian bacon" into your preferred search-a-ma-bob for some super rad reads!

Is this your favorite candidate? Voting now open here.  Share on Facebook to show your support as well! 

 

about your author

Cheez E. Pizza has been retained by Peggy's Homemade Pizza for her decades-long record of bias-free reporting in the arena of Pizza Politics and straight-forward "no-frills" style in the dining room and abroad.  Her services will be invaluable during such a close campaign.

 

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